Counselling, Jelly Babies and Type 1 Diabetes

I’ve lived with Type 1 diabetes for over 30 years. In that time, the technology has changed enormously. The language has changed. The targets have changed.

I have counted the carbs in thousands meals and can still get it 'wrong'. What hasn’t changed is that Type 1 diabetes requires your attention. Every day.

Sometimes it’s barely in the foreground. Other times it seems determined to make itself the most important thing in the room.

An alarm goes off.

You check your numbers.

You’re about to eat, but first you need to work out the carbs.

You’re halfway through a conversation and something needs your attention.

You did exactly the same thing yesterday and got a completely different result.

Excellent.

It can feel relentless.

And living with it requires a surprising amount of learning. You learn about insulin, carbohydrates, ratios, exercise, illness, hormones, technology and how your own body responds. Then you practise. Adjust. Get things wrong. Learn some more. New technology arrives and there’s something else to learn.

That takes a lot of input, and sometimes it’s exhausting.

Sometimes it’s also absolutely fine. Diabetes can tick along in the background while you get on with your life. But then again, sometimes it really isn't fine.

Sometimes you just want someone who gets it

There is something reassuring about being with people who understand.

People who don’t mind if you need to stop for a moment and look at your pump or your phone. Who carry on chatting while you work something out. Who understand that when an alarm goes off, you might need to pay attention to it now.

Or who don't respond as though a small bomb has gone off because you need to eat a few jelly babies.

And people who understand the strange relationship we can develop with our numbers.

We spend so much time trying to get them “right”. But bodies aren’t maths equations. You can count the carbs, calculate the insulin, take exercise into account and do everything you thought you were supposed to do, and Type 1 can apparently have other plans.

That’s when understanding matters.

Not What did you do wrong?

More Oh, that’s frustrating. What do you need?

There’s a lot of safety in that.

The jelly babies in my counselling room

I’m a counsellor now, and there’s a jar of jelly babies on display in my practice room.

They’re there deliberately.

If I’m sitting opposite someone with Type 1 and they need a jelly baby, they don’t have to feel awkward about asking. If they need to check their glucose, they check it. If an alarm goes off, we respond to it.

Diabetes doesn’t have to wait outside until the session is over.

And if someone wants to have a good moan about another broken night because of alarms or hypos, that’s allowed too.

There’s no judgement when the numbers aren't what we'd hoped for. I know how much attention, learning and effort this condition requires. And I also know that sometimes, despite all of that, things simply don’t go according to plan.

A number might need a response. It doesn’t need a judgement.

Perhaps that’s the bit we’re missing

We have extraordinary medical care available for Type 1 diabetes. We have specialist nurses, consultants, dietitians, increasingly sophisticated pumps and sensors, education and more information than ever before.

But receiving all that care also asks something of us.

We have to learn. Practise. Make decisions. Notice patterns. Respond to alarms. Make adjustments. Keep up with technology. And then somehow fit all of that around having a life.

Most of the time, we do.

But where do we go to talk about what it’s like to be the person doing all of this?

The tiredness. The frustration. The interruptions. The fear sometimes. The ridiculousness sometimes. The days when you feel completely on top of it and the days when you absolutely do not.

Sometimes we need advice.

Sometimes we need medical expertise.

And sometimes we just need to sit opposite someone who understands how hard it can be, and knows where the jelly babies are.

If you’re living with Type 1 diabetes, or someone close to you is, and you’d like counselling support from someone who understands some of what that can involve, please get in touch.